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And in exchange, we’ve had no problem with our comics crossing the pond for the occasional London gig. First it was David Cross, who admittedly wasn’t treated very well here in the U. ( and from the snippets we’ve seen on the Web, it looks awesome. We tried, oh how we tried, to watch it on the Channel 4 Web site, but we’ve been repeatedly and sadistically denied. We could’ve given her a show and kept her on our shores. She’s also the voice of Alice in Wonderland in I called Schaal in Shreveport, Louisiana, where she’s shooting a new movie with Jennifer Garner called *Butter,*and she’s just as mad about the situation as we are. I tempt him into eating salmon, and he almost does it even though he knows it’s poison.

It’s not just their accent, it’s their cadence that’s really addictive. In the United States, there are millions and millions of dollars at stake, so they need a sure formula. We’ve got stuff in there like, instead of the Vagina Monologues, there’s the Taintologues. You know how it’s your first pet along with the street you grew up on? Well, we’ve also got things in there about fisting. It couldn’t just be graphic for the sake of being graphic. I think it’s all really great, but I’m nervous that some people will have a knee-jerk reaction to it. I seriously doubt that anybody who loves you on is going to be offended by a few fisting jokes. I’ve been feeling protective of kids all of a sudden because I’ve been doing press for and I’m around kids all the time.

The end of every sentence kinda lilts up, like their voice is raising an octave. Everybody says that celebrities who talk with British accents are posers, but I think it’s a real affliction. Did you at least try pitching it to an American network? With our formula, it’s your favorite alcoholic beverage plus your biggest insecurity. I didn’t know any kids when I was writing it, but now that I’m with kids every day, I’m like, “Oh no!

Didn’t you and Kurt also pitch a show about a female robot? The fact that we got to pitch it to a network at all blows my mind. Anyway, he builds this female robot, which I would play, and it’s an atom bomb in a robot woman’s body. If there’s ever going to be a political uprising, first it’ll be China and then Australia. I’m a lady robot in love with my creator, and I chase him all over the world. The one flaw in an otherwise airtight sitcom premise.

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Basically, Kurt plays a genius scientist who invents a female robot that can destroy the world. But when he’s finished, he’s like, “Hold on, this is a bad idea.” So he programs me to fall in love instead, and then he leaves Australia. I’m still learning that there are some hard fast rules in TV. And everybody needs to live together in an apartment.

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